Remembering Tepley

This is the eulogy I wrote for my baby

Right before Tepley was born, a friend asked why are you having a child. What’s your reason?

I answered her that this baby was my contribution. That I wanted to raise the kind of little person that would give her great talents and her love to the world.

Naturally, I thought that would mean as President, or defending those who needed it, or helping others live their best lives, or building a strong, loving family of her own.

So as I stand here today, I am so overwhelmed with gratitude to Tepley in teaching me a much more powerful and profound sense of contribution. Of being light and love to others. All day, every day.

To say that we have been changed by her is a profound understatement. She transformed us and so many who knew her by the radiating joy and love. How – at 20 months  - could someone be so powerful? She is my hero.

Celebrating Tepley’s life is easy.

Tepley had so much natural, effervescent joy that she was an amazing dancer. Like everything about her she had her unique take. I’m pretty sure you haven’t seen it anywhere else. She’d bend at the waste, put her hands behind her like airplane wings. and tip over with her bootie out. Then she’d stomp her feet and turn in a circle – usually to Justin Timberlake, her favorite artist.

It didn’t hurt that her school teachers created her signature top pony tail, which I fought at first, but then agreed that it connected her perfectly to the Trolls soundtrack she loved so much.  

Just as she would take to the dance floor all on her own, she was also an independent, confident, quite productive person. During our family time in the morning or on the weekends, she would direct us in her desired tasks. These books, these puzzles, hold Elmo, grab this chair for me to help you cook  – then you sit here while I put stickers all over you. We definitely worked for her.

After our family time in the mornings, she would be so ready to get to school, not even looking back when we dropped her off. And when I picked her up every day, she would direct me to get her water cup and then just take off down the hall, ready to get to her next appointment – facetime with her grandparents over dinner.

But her most defining characteristic was her sweet, loving nature. People kept telling me that she was so sweet – but I had a slightly different view. Because to me, Tepley loved fiercely. She would seek you out, and usually get you from behind. She was the queen of the back hug, or busting into your shower, or grabbing your legs while you were trying to get something done.

If you asked for a hug, she’d open her arms to you, and finish it off with a little pat on the back. Like, I got you. Don’t worry. 

So rather than just entrust Tepley to her eternal life today, I will actually entrust all of you to her. That she brings you light and love when you need it - and just because.

When you see an angel on a sign or on a Christmas tree, picture her sweet face and her top pony. And when you need light, I hope you will look for Tepley. Feel free to talk to Tepley. A year from now, 10 years from now, when you have a moment of darkness.

That she can remind us that love brings us not just light, but true joy in even the smallest packages.